Submerge yourself in the steamy, seedy underworld of Miami's dive bars.

Erica Boynton

Thank god for the existence of dive bars: where you can always get in with a scruffy face and sneakers, where the beer, though not imported, is cold and cheap, where the pool tables tilt, and where you're likely to see a good ol' fashioned brawl.


The elusive definition of a "dive"
Dive: (Slang). A disreputable entertainment establishment (Merriam-Webster).


The term dive bar was coined in the 1800's, when these establishments were generally located below street level, away from genteel and pampered respectable citizens. But what exactly defines a dive bar today?
_ Cheap drinks.
_ A jukebox with a selection that would satiate your punk aficionado older brother, Rat Pack adoring grandfather, and soul singer swooning girlfriend.
_ The air of a secret hideaway you've luckily and unknowingly stumbled into.
_ Patrons from every walk of life.

Entering a dive bar is like submerging yourself in a netherworld of debauchery and iniquity (if you're lucky). The Bushwhacker, located at 1621 SW 37 Ave. in the dingy outskirts of Coral Gables is straight out of the '70s, home to the most affable bartenders and regulars in the city. Ted's Hideaway, at 124 2nd Street, Miami Beach, is a hole-in-the wall that manages to draw in a crowd of surfers and the beautiful (yet surprisingly approachable) elite to its nightly happy hour. Duffy's Tavern, at 2108 SW 57 Ave., a college hangout and sports bar, serves up old-style American charm that focuses on cheap beer and an awe-inspiring burger. All these dives have managed to keep their loyal old-time patrons, but lately they're appealing to an increasingly younger crowd. And the quintessential examples of this duality co-mingled with diversity and success are Mac's Club Deuce on Miami Beach and Churchill's Hideaway in Little Haiti.
Miami's two most recognized dives have been successful for over 60 years. Mac's Club Deuce hearkens back to the golden age of Miami Beach in the '20s. The bar has been open since 1926 (with a brief hiatus during Prohibition, natch) and has welcomed a motley crew of patrons. Says one such Deuce fan, "This is the only place where you can sit at the bar with Cameron Diaz, Matt Dillon, a prostitute, a pimp, and a tattoo artist at the same time." The sense of history the Deuce conveys is as thick as the smoke in the air of the small space. Neon girly signs left over from a Miami Vice shoot hang next to life-size posters of Humphrey Bogart. The jukebox hosts an array of aural delights, including Stevie Ray Vaughn, Frank Sinatra, The Cure, Parliament, Erykah Badu, Brian Ferry, Patsy Cline, and David Bowie. The crowd is always interesting and the bartenders serve with a heavy hand. There is something undeniably sleazy, but all the more engaging, about the Deuce.

"This is the only place where you can sit at the bar with Cameron Diaz, Matt Dillon, a prostitute, a pimp, and a tattoo artist at the same time."

Dave Daniels, owner of Churchill's Hideaway, took over the neighborhood bar on September 1, 1979. "It was a day bar, and had been open since the 1940s," he tells me. Located in the midst of an impoverished neighborhood, Churchill's stands out as Miami's top venue for local music. In fact, playing a gig at Churchill's is almost a running joke with local bands. Local performers such as Rocking Horse Winner, Whirlaway, and Humbert receive equally warm welcomes as national acts like Ours, Dashboard Confessional, and Iggy Pop. Churchills also hosts special events including Infiltrate, the anti-WMC party featuring alterna-electronic acts like the Beta Bodega Coalition, and the Annual Miami Rock Festival. "We've booked everyone from Dick Dale to Marilyn Manson," Daniels says.

Churchill's also offers year-round, worldwide soccer coverage via satellite, making the bar a popular hangout for British expatriates, who can always enjoy a Guinness or Bass while watching a game.

"It's not a dive, it's a way of life"

What exactly is it about these low-key locales that keep us coming back? Maybe dive bars offer an escape from the velvet rope pretension and stale banality of music/ fashion/ lifestyle that characterize the bars and clubs in South Beach. I think it's fair to say that sometimes we all need a bit of a break from the norm (if you consider J-Lo look-alikes and a sea of silicone the norm). Thank god for the existence of dive bars: where you can always get in with a scruffy face and sneakers, where the beer, though not imported, is cold and cheap, where the pool tables tilt, and where you're likely to see a good ol' fashioned brawl. Now THIS is what a bar is supposed to be. Leave the microbrews and ultra modern lamps for another poor sap. Give me wood paneling, bathroom doors that don't quite shut, and the lingering odor of spilt beer and Marlboros.

Mac's Club Deuce
222 14 St. Miami Beach (between Collins and Washington)
305/531.6200 for more details.
Churchill's Hideaway
5501 NE 2 Ave. Miami Beach
305/ 757.1807